just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
sex in a hospital.. check
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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