The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
