Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
it's great music for shaving your balls
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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