To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
