Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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