I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
