What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
