Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can't put those talents on a resume
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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