Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
