Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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