Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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