he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
