Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
