How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
