i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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