last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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