So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
