Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
