walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
