An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
handjob tips. give me some.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
