two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
