the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
