I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize