You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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