i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
