me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize