oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
