I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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