so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
