a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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