Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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