Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
