just come out here and I will go home with you...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
