your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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