I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
