i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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