I need help removing her.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
