...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
nutella sex= disaster
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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