I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
