i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
of course. lets lasso hookers.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
