and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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