Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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