Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
