Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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