My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
