great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize