I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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