Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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