Don't you send me to vm
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
