i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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