I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
