Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
