think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
