And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
