WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
