I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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