barbara walters just said penis...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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