in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
