I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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