Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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