Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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