I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My feet surprised me
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